Resolution Ruckus (ADWSS Episode Transcript)
episode begins with SpongeBob and Patrick, writing on pieces of paper quickly *'SpongeBob and Patrick:' And…. DONE! *'SpongeBob:' So, what are your new year resolutions? *'Patrick:' I couldn’t think of any. *'SpongeBob: '''Nor could I. *'Patrick: Ooh! I came up with one! *'''SpongeBob: What? *'Patrick: '''We can annoy Squidward more! *'SpongeBob:' That’s what we did last year, though. *'Patrick:' He looked happy with that change and if we improve that change he might as well be happier. *'SpongeBob: More like he looked angry with that change. And if we improve it he might as well decapitate us. *'Patrick: '''C’mon, Squidward would never do that. *'SpongeBob: 'Yeah, instead he would probably rip out our kidneys and dislocate our arms. *'Patrick: 'Now THAT’S Squidward. *'SpongeBob: Well, I don’t want to have my kidney removed, so let’s think of something else. Like... ooh! How about we visit Sandy more often? We haven’t in a while. *'Patrick: '''You visit her every day! *'SpongeBob:' Patrick, there’s a difference between stalking people and visiting people. *'Patrick: You stalk her AND visit her every day. *'SpongeBob: '''Well, we can improve both if we were to move in with Sandy. *'Patrick: 'The last time you tried to do that she karate-chopped you straight out of her house. *'SpongeBob: Well, maybe she doesn’t have enough money for twice the food. *'Patrick:' Did it ever occur to you that maybe she simply doesn’t want you in? *'SpongeBob:' Hmm… actually, no. And it still doesn’t. Let’s give it another shot. *'scene cuts to Sandy’s Treedome' *'SpongeBob: '''So can we? *'Sandy: No! Where would you even sleep, anyway? I only have one bed. *'''SpongeBob: Patrick brought a sleeping bag. *'Sandy: '''But what about you? *'SpongeBob:' You could share your bed with me. *'Sandy: Get out of here! *karate-chops them both out of the door.' *'SpongeBob: Well, that didn’t work. How about we do something generous to people? *'''Patrick: Like… letting old people listen to some modern music? All they listen to is some weird music from the 50s. I mean, c’mon, it doesn’t have any guitar! Just drums, vocals, and whatever else they can stuff in to make it sound worse. *'SpongeBob:' Great idea, Patrick! *'Old fish’s house' *'Old Fish: ' Gaah! What do you want me to do, die? That thing was louder than an elephant! *'Patrick: '''It looks like you would die in just a few minutes even without listening to the song. *'SpongeBob: Patrick, maybe we’re best off doing something else. That’s not going to end up in our kidneys being removed. It’s my motto, really. Kidneys lost, point of doing it lost. *'Patrick: '''WE NEED YOU, KIDNEYS! *'Old Fish: 'What are you talking about? *'SpongeBob: How about we sell pies instead? Giving savory treats to people is generous, right? *'Patrick: '''Yeah! *'scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick, standing behind a pie stand nervously, with people who have splattered pies on their faces are looking at them angrily. SpongeBob and Patrick slowly descend behind the pie stand' *'Patrick: Run. *and Patrick run away from the angry mob in slow motion, while “We Are Enough” plays in the background, this continues for a while until the camera reveals that SpongeBob and Patrick are just running slowly' *'Random fish in mob:' Just get them. *'SpongeBob:' Please don’t remove our kidneys! IT’S MY MOTTO! *'Patrick: WE NEED YOU, KIDNEYS! *sighs' *'SpongeBob: This is what happens when you try to change. *'''Random fish in mob 2: Say goodbye to your kidneys, you pie-throwing idiots! *'episode fades to black, but does not end, instead SpongeBob is seen' *'SpongeBob: '''Don’t remove my kidney! It’s my motto. *'episode ends''' Category:A Day With SpongeBob SquarePants Category:Transcripts Category:Episode Transcripts Category:2015